Monday, October 02, 2006

They Used To Be My Pride And Joy, But Now They Only Bring Fatigue

Few have said it better than the late Steve Goodman, a Chicago folk singer who used the line above in his immortal song "A Dying Cub Fan's Last Request". With the season over, and the Cubs returning to their comfortable place at the bottom of the NL Central, I'm finding myself somewhere between joy and despair as I tend to do every Roctober. Joy because we almost did it, almost managed to lose 100 games, something we haven't done since the 1966 season, part of the era that formed me into a lifelong Die Hard Cubs Fan. And despair because, again, the Cubs are playing golf while others are playing baseball, at least for a few more games.

It’s a tough day for all Cub fans, especially yours truly. What we thought was going to be the Season Of Destiny was not. Our dreams of magic on the Fields Of Dreams were again dashed. The Cubs didn’t get it done. Try as they may, my heroes only were able to lost 96 games this year, missing the goal of losing 100 games, a feat that has not been equaled since the storied 1966 season and the leadership of Leo “The Lip” Durocher. Sure, the Cubs had the worst record in the National League, and ended the season in last place. For many fans, that would be enough. But Cubs fans were hoping for something that would make this season the stuff that short magazine articles are written about. If you can’t win it all, be as bad as you can be.

Its time to take action. I’d like to take this opportunity to announce that I am available to fill the empty Manager’s uniform for next year’s World Champions, the Chicago Cubs. Based on the team’s performance this year, I know that I could lead the victory charge that will lead with World Series glory, or the loss of 100 games. Either way, the new season will be memorable. What better way to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the 1907 Cubs World Series Championship than to hire a manager who will give 1000 percent to the players and fans of the Team Of Destiny?

I’m currently working on my application package for the job I’m ready to take the Cubs to Baseball Heaven in 2007.