Cheaper Than an iPhone 4S: At End of Emails, Type ‘Sent from my iPhone 4S’ « Borowitz Report

CUPERTINO (The Borowitz Report) – A clever work-around discovered by a tech-savvy smart phone user has enabled millions of consumers to avoid buying Apple’s heavily touted iPhone 4S: at the end of emails, they merely type, “Sent from my iPhone 4S.”
Tracy Klugian, a self-described “gizmo fanatic” from Akron, Ohio came up with the ingenious solution after deciding that the iPhone 4S’s price tag was too rich for his blood.
“I’m glad that this work-around will give non-iPhone 4S owners the same thrill that people who spent $299 on it have been experiencing,” he said.  “It’s definitely a much cheaper way to go.”
Across the country, millions of iPhone 4S owners who learned about Mr. Klugian’s inventive fix jammed Apple stores to return their devices, many of them purchased just hours earlier.
“The only reason I bought an iPhone 4S was to let people know that I owned an iPhone 4S,” said Donnelly Rixon, 24, a self-described “douche” from Sacramento.  “This wrecks everything.”
An official statement from Apple indicated that the company would not accept returns of the costly devices, but assured consumers that the $299 price tag was well worth it: “The iPhone 4S is the most amazing device in the history of the smart phone, until the iPhone 5, which will be released tomorrow.”
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Posted via email from Mark Edwards 3.0

Justice in St. Louis « Bits & Pieces Satire

A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Jefferson County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible..

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the St. Louis Rams Football Team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Thanks Carter

via bitsandpieces.us

Thanks to Bits & Pieces for a fine Sunday morning Rams pre-game laugh.

Posted via web from Mark Edwards 3.0