Thursday, May 19, 2011

I Am Convinced The World Will End Saturday

This entry is reposted from my Official Major League Baseball Blog, Mark's Cub Worship Pulpit

So there's this preacher who says the world will end on May 21, which is this Saturday. But when I go directly to his web site, he says Saturday is Judgement Day and the world will end on October 21, which is my middle son's birthday. So I may not have to buy him some advanced electronic gadget if we're all vaporized, which isn't all bad. And I still get to celebrate MY birthday on Roctober 18th, not that I'll have too much time to enjoy the underwear and energy drinks that my family will buy me for my big day. But the problem is this. The Cubs are returning to Fenway Park to play the Red Sox this weekend. I was supposed to go to those games, but just can't get away to see my heroes at the second best ballpark in baseball. And the tickets I thought I was getting, uh, never came through, which is another story that has me quite aggravated. Think about it, the Cubs return to play in Fenway for the first time since 1918 on the weekend that some think the world will end. They've moved the game to Prime Time, so we can all tune in to see the carnage (Judgement Day, not the Cubs getting beat like eggs for an angel food cake) with the special touch of Joe Buck's play by play. What could be more perfect? Could the douchebag Commissioner Of Baseball be in cahoots with someone more omnipotent than even HIM to have arranged this cruel punishment?

"Yeah, so here's the deal. We get two of the most storied teams in baseball together for the first time in forever in Boston then we have you send down bolts of lightening or frogs or whatever it is you send down to let people know its Judgement Day and give the world a warning by wiping out all those insane Red Sox and Cubs fans. And I'll even throw in Joe Buck, I know you probably want him gone five months early. Hey, it's the least I can do for you letting me not get fired over that whole drug scandal thing."

Will it happen? Doubtful. But if it does, I won't be anywhere near as depressed about missing the games. And I get to save a couple hundred bucks on my kid's birthday gift.

Posted via email from Mark Edwards 3.0

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